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A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Have you ever convinced yourself you know something is going to happen? You know how people feel about you? You know what others are thinking or what the outcome of a situation will eventually be? And then acted in a manner that reflects that?

I have! A lot of times. Too many times to be exact! To suffer with anxiety and to have an over-active, over-thinking mind is the cause, for me. I thought I could predict the future. I thought I could 'tell' what others were thinking. I'd mistake others efforts to please me as some sort of conspiracy against me. But I was nothing more than paranoid. I had a conspiracy theory, against myself! And that was ultimately because of the way I perceived myself. I wasn't good enough, pretty enough, slim enough, you get the gist.

A self-fulfilling prophecy can work in a negative or a positive way. But I self-fulfilled negatively, although I didn't realise it at the time. It is a prediction of an outcome and a lot of the time, people with anxiety and depression will expect a negative outcome. It is that expectation that we embed in our sub-conscious which creates the outcome because we believe in it. So much, that we start to act as though it is inevitable. For instance, in a relationship, one person could be so anxious and have such low self-esteem that they start to accuse their partner of cheating or putting others before them. Because of that belief, they start to act in a way that mirrors their feelings and expectations, creating defence barriers, speaking to them in a way that makes them feel guilty of the expected behaviour. And alas, when they do cheat, or leave, we are self-righteous in that we 'KNEW' that they would do it! It is self-sabotage. But it is sub-conscious. And it is a manifestation that starts with anxiety.

This is only one example of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Another example could be when we were at school? How did you behave at school? What were your expected grades? Did you repeatedly get into trouble or were you a model student? If you think about it, the expectation of you can cause the behaviour. Now, I am not saying that your school grades are attributed to the teacher, what I am saying is that if poor performance was displayed throughout those school years, the teachers may have started to treat you as someone who is destined not to do well, and so you may have behaved in a way that proved them right in the end. Does that make sense?

And what about the project you started? (if you have ever started one). Did you believe you would fail? Were you so excited by it in the beginning and then lost all hope because you believed you couldn't possibly be successful? I have. And I gave up for those exact reasons.

When we believe something, we act in a way that corresponds to those beliefs which makes those beliefs even more believable. When we believe something about someone else and act in such a way, they then react which only strengthens our beliefs and thus we are in a cycle. It is as though we are using a reverse Law of Attraction! Instead of attracting what we actually want, we do the opposite but without intention.

Of course, it can work in our favour too. But it has to be applied in the correct way so that it manifests in our minds and makes us start to behave in a fashion that is positive in outcome. I have heard the phrase 'act as though you have it already' numerous times. This is open for debate, however, after really and deeply thinking about this, I have come to the conclusion that, for me, it has to be put into practice every day. It is part of my ongoing journey. My self-fulfilling prophecy was ruining my life and so I had to U-turn and start over.

There are so many examples that I could share with you about my personal journey that have resulted in negative outcomes. And that is because of my beliefs at the time, my actions and my behaviour that occurred from said beliefs.

So what are we gonna do about it?

Well, going back to the phrase 'act as though you have it already', I recommend using that as a starting point for a much more positive self-fulfilling prophecy. Ask yourself the relevant questions and answer yourself honestly. For instance, are you doing well at your job? If not, act as though you are, believe you are and your behaviour will start to reflect. Are you happy in your relationship? If you are but you find yourself trying to predict the future and what your partner is thinking, stop! Rethink. Take the compliments for what they are. Trust your partner is happy, why else would he/she be with you? Live in the present moment and don't think too far ahead. Your behaviour because of your beliefs will start to shine through creating a far more positive outcome.

A self-fulfilling prophecy can be a great thing. But it can cause a sabotage that we end up regretting. Start to manifest conscious beliefs in a more positive light.

You ARE beautiful.

You CAN get that promotion.

You CAN turn that idea into a reality.

You WILL turn this around.

Believe in yourself.

I believe in you.

Sending love and positive thoughts



#aself-fulfillingprophecy #positivebeliefs #avoidingself-sabotage #anxietyrelief #anxietygoals #zerotohero

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NB The Not-So-Secret Diary does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any alternate therapy or technique as a replacement form of treatment for physical, mental or any other medical problems by your doctor neither directly or indirectly. The intention of this site is to give information based on personal experience and to offer tools to help the reader in their journey towards spiritual growth and mental and physical well-being. 

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