You don't want to do anything, but you want to do everything. You don't want to go out, but you dream of long walks and beach days. You don't want to sleep but you are oh-so-tired. You fear failure but you lack productivity. You want to be alone but you don't want to be on your own. You care too much but you don't care at all. You feel every emotion, every physical pain, every harsh word that is spoken but you feel numb. You feel like a sinking dinghy. Like a shell of who you are meant to be.
How much of this rings true to you?
Stuck in a cycle is an understatement, right? Well, it's time to take your own foot off your head and pull yourself out of the water! (Ahem.. metaphorically speaking cos' when you get to my age, the contortion ship has sailed!)
It's time to make the decision to stop 'feeling' because of fear.. and start 'doing' to create feelings of accomplishment. Of self-worth. Of self-value. Of self-confidence. Of self-LOVE. It's time to RISE! Like a Phoenix from the flames!
"But Lil... How the EFF do you expect me to do this when I feel this low? When I feel this useless and powerless and insignificant?"
I'll tell you how... IT'S YOUR LIFE. MAKE THE DECISION TO RISE! Because when you consciously make the decision, when you commit to the decision, when you dream of long walks, beach days, painting that sideboard, getting that promotion, striving for the life you long for, nothing will stop you. It starts with the decision. No matter how much you 'think' you can't, I am here to tell you... YOU CAN! You are a phoenix and you will rise. I promise you will when you make the decision.
Let me start you off.. and you can add to your own list:
First and foremost - I am strong
How ever steep the hill, I will make it to the top with commitment and perseverance
I am in control of my destiny
I have all the tools I need
I am not afraid anymore and I will not be beaten down by what might go wrong
I am excited about what could go RIGHT
Anxiety will not stop me
I am safe and loved
Feelings are just that - feelings
I am smart and confident and I will rise
You see, and soon as you start to believe in yourself, the mindset changes.
I read a quote which has stuck with me
"Your Life Is As Good As Your Mindset"
And this is true. Sure, there'll be bad days. There'll be times when you want to curl up in isolation, but bad days are ALWAYS a TEMPORARY setback. Regroup, forgive yourself for falling off the wagon, give yourself a pep-talk and pick up where you left off.
Here is a book suggestion. The author, Todd Eden, talks about how to own your life and how to take control of your future - "Imagine if you could Own Life. Imagine owning ALL OF IT!" With an overall 5* rating, it is worth a read https://amzn.to/3i70fq6
Empower yourself with the metaphor which is the phoenix rising. Because that's what you are doing. And nothing is going to stop you.
Love, strength & eternal support