Anxiety and life circumstances can make us all feel like we are stuck in a rut from time to time. Some more than others, some more often than others, some for longer periods of time than others. I have experienced this first hand. It's a difficult situation to be in and even more difficult to to dig yourself out!
The first thing to do is embrace it. Yep, you read right. EMBRACE the rut. Let yourself FEEL it. Cry. Scream and shout if you have to. Feel the emotions that the rut throws at you. Allow them in and let them consume you.
Why? Because you NEED to feel it. We have emotions for a reason. They are there to be EXPERIENCED. They are there to MOTIVATE US TO TAKE ACTION! But first we must really know what the emotion feels like, in the heart, in the mind and in the body. Only then can we evaluate what is needed and how we react.
I'm a very emotional person. I 'feel' a lot. As a previous submissive to anxiety, I know only too well what it feels like to surrender. But I also realise that surrendering is a must in order to learn a valuable lesson. Now, I am not asking you to surrender to anxiety. Not a chance. BUT.. to the emotions that come with the anxiety. I have done this and I can tell you, it isn't pleasant. Not at first. The sheer amount of emotions that lead to other emotions is off the scale. After an argument for instance, I'd feel angry, confused, scared of what will happen next, self-righteous, upset, hatred towards the opposition but also love! And after things calm down, there'd be tears, guilt, the what-if's set in, admittance that maybe I was wrong, feeling sorry, angry with myself for letting it go that far, unforgiving of myself, etc, etc...
And so I'm in this rut! This is a catalogue of emotions that every human feels from time to time but in anxiety sufferers, its a hamster wheel! A vicious cycle that we dig ourselves into - deeper and deeper - albeit unintentionally.
If only it was as easy as digging in the sand to get out, eh?! It's actually like digging in quick sand! We're digging and digging but are being swallowed up into a well of negativity until we have no choice but to succumb! But we DO have a choice!
So how do we get out?
Let's assume you have felt the emotions, you've let yourself. You've embraced it. The next thing to do is forgive yourself. You're a human being who makes mistakes. It's natural. Yes, it may have cost you in the past but you cannot keep beating yourself up. So forgive yourself, please.
Now it's time to concentrate on climbing up. But, remember, it may take time and that's something we all have to accept. So, baby steps. Ask yourself these questions:
What are your ambitions?
What did you always aspire to be growing up?
Do you still want to pursue that dream? If not, create a new dream.
What gets your creative juices flowing?
What makes you happy?
Where do you see yourself in a year, 2 years, 3 years.... ?
Is it career you want, or just to be a happier version of who you are?
Think about this. It could be a big dream. It could be something as simple as having the motivation to see friends, to exercise, to swim more, to play with the kids more, to bake more often..
You see, it's the attitude we have to getting out of the rut. If we remain submissive, we remain where we are. If nothing changes, nothing changes. We have to actively CHOOSE to dig ourselves out.
You have your spade. Start digging! You CAN do it!
"When the little bird finally learnt to fly, she soared so high!"
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